In my life, I love you more.

So.. Christmas has been pretty funky, got a new laptop ect ect. Had a MASSIVE dinner, had a bit to drink ;) You know, the usual.

Luke Harris, thankyou for everything :) It has been nearly two months and I've realised how much I care about you, I mean.. I cared about you as a friend but being your girlfriend has made me see so much more. I really don't wanna lose you my darling, you see you have made me so happy, everything about you just makes me smile. From your cute ways to your ways to make me laugh, just everything is perfect. It truely upsets me to think about losing you because I know what a great person you are and how we've gone just meeting eachother, to friends, to this. It's just unreal <3

proper crimbo selecta'

Aaah, it is christmas tomorrow, I'm rather excited all of a sudden. I wasn't really too excited a while ago but as it's getting closer I'm feeling more christmas-y.

I've had a proper conversation with someone I haven't seen eye to eye with for a while but it's understandable. I am glad we have though :D

I went shopping to tesco at 11 it was rather funny, I didn't even realise I only got out the shop at like 12:30 :L oh well late night shopping is cool.

ROLL ON CHRISTMAS!

Justa short one..

Mocks are over, christmas is here, let the good times roll I guess.. Not quite, I'm so busy trying to get presents and everything, I've also gotta revise for my January exams but I guess I just need to calm down.

On a different subject I love photography.. I mean everyone can take photos but it's if they're unique and beautiful, that's what stands out most. To be honest, I'm not that confident with my photography although it is my career choice, ah well. I'll keep taking pictures anyway.

I love the way you lie..

You know.. I'm trying to build a friendship back up with you because I'm changing and I thought you had too, but obviously not.. You still do those little things that still annoy me. Like ditch one of the people who has been there for you all along to come to me or go to another friend, you're so rude to her it's unbelievable, you wouldn't give her something today like an immature child and when I tried to give it to her, you fucking bit me. How childish. It's making her upset too, I would know because she told me, see actually trusted me and I understand her. You're copying me more now, what are you trying to do? Be me? Because all of a sudden my life seems better than yours? I want independence but every step of the way you're following me. I've also seen that your lies are getting worse.. I would of thought after all these years of you doing it, you'd atleast be good at it?! I wish I could just tell you to go away but I can't I guess I'm a wimp..

So this is christmas, and what have you done?

Oh the wonders of mock exams.. Sitting in a freezing cold sports hall and enduring 1 hour of nothingness. I have so failed my maths exam.. I left out about 5 pages and sat there next to possibly one of the brainiest people in my year, just blankly staring as she covered the page with writing.

BUT, oh well! It's nearly christmas! I'm excited even though I haven't got all my presents yet, just the general season gets me in a happy mood :) and my auntie is out of hospital.. FUCK YEAH.

I don't know why but even though I'm meant to be stressed, I'm kinda not, which is good obviously. :D 18 days till christmas people!

If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see, I will be the light, to guide you.

I just want all my friends to know.. I'm here for them no matter what. I will be there for them rain or shine, the fact that more people are opening up to me makes me feel really good to be honest; finally I feel like a good friend. Thankyou to all my friends, dealing with my crap, supporting me when I put myself into crap and being there for me. I've never had better people surrounding me and I'm so happy with what I have, as long as I have you guys and my boy, I'm set for life.

I'm feeling myself getting closer to friends such as Hannah and Tegan, which is good because I love these guys to bits and to know they can trust me is the best feeling ever :)

I love all you guys, remember that.

"You can count on me like 1, 2, 3, I'll be there, and I know when I need it I can count on you like 4, 3, 2 and you'll be there, cos' that's what friends are supposed to do ♪♬"

it's magic, you know.

I'm absoloutely bricking it for my mocks.. Oh well.

I can feel myself getting closer with old friends, being able to talk to them about anything and feeling like an actual good friend :)

Seeing my Lucas was good today as well.. For some reason when i'm with him I forget everything bad like my exams.. Ah, he's great :) & we played Xbox, arent we cool ;)

To Miss Lauren Victoria Buckland:

Dude, you're amazing okay? Don't let anyone else tell you different. Me and you have become rather close over basically this past year and a half, which to be honest, I never expected. You're..

• Hilarious - You my friend have the ability to put me in fits of laughter.
• Supportive - I can be in any situation but you'll always back me up.
• Caring - You're so lovely to me and it's great to have you as a friend.
• An Inspiration - You inspire me with your confidence and the fact that you've been through so much shit but you keep fighting on.
• Beautiful - You may not think it but you're just naturally pretty, you have a simple yet amazing style which always brings out the best in how you look.
• Creative - We love the same things like making random crap like at the moment, you're making origami? Just because you felt like it. We also make our little songs, damn we're good ;)
• A great friend overall - You can randomly say I'm a great friend ect which really makes me smile, you're always there for me and you help me when I'm sad or angry ect.

I love you Lauren Buckland, and I think some people just don't deserve your friendship and I feel sorry for them <3

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

I cant believe it has already been 1 month.. Looking back on it, I don't regret a thing, I may of had some of the worst things happen but over all im still the happiest I've been because you're all I want. The way you make me feel is like no other, I've never felt like this before, I'm just confortable with being with you and I dont have to try and be somebody else to please you because you don't mind how unusual I am. You're always there for me and you know I'm always there for you, thanks for the great time darling. I love you <3

So raise your glass

You know what? I can't be bothered anymore with things that don't matter, if you want to just bitch about me or snap at me all the time all I have to say is "FUCK OFF" because I'm gonna concentrate on what makes me happy and most importantly what makes other people happy. You may say "I don't care about other peoples feelings" but I obviously do, because the amount of my friends that I try and help is far more than some others in the world. So I think people should think because they go assuming things :)

Go to the ends of the earth for you, to make you feel my love

You make my skin tingle with a touch, become breathless with one word and melt with a singular kiss. I can't believe you're mine and I wouldn't change it for the world, now I have you don't even think that I'm ever letting you go :) I want to spend every waking moment with you and I've never been like this in such a short amount of time, you've turned my life around and know that this will last. I'm a person with quite a short temper generally but when I'm around you, I forget everything, I never get angry or sad, it's just you on my mind, always. I would do anything for you without hesitation, trust me, you have my heart for life.

I love you Lucas Harris, don't forget that.

I've got the magic in me

Hm, rather weird weekend.. Yet fun :D

So, I had Beckys party Friday, twas insane, I loved it. I danced. I laughed. I tried to cheer people up. And I fell in love even deeper. After a night of alcohol fuelled partying we retired to some dominoes pizza and a well deserved sleep, even though I thought Becky was dead, as she wasnt moving. Saturday I saw my boy, I do love him very much :) and then Sunday I went to see HARRY FREAKING POTTER! Aaah, I love it <3 !! I'm still trying to change, I'm attempting to be nicer to friends and gain a new relationship with old ones. Oh well.. We'll see what happens.

Huff, thanks.

ARGH! You anger me SO much, you didn't have to say that to make me angry did you? No.

I was gonna leave you alone for now to let things calm down but no, you tried to make me hate you, I don't hate you I knew you needed a break from me so I left it. All I did was mess about with my friends, I didn't mean to upset you and yeah I can understand you may still have feelings but that wasn't appropriate?

I'm sorry for whatever I did now? Now just don't bother trying to get back at me again please, it's the only thing I ask.

Trying to make it work, but damn these times are hard

Why do I just hurt people like it doesn't matter? It really does, and I try and stop myself but I always end up the same.. Getting shouted at for being a dick to someone or crying because I can't reserve what I've done. I really do care about everyone, but I make silly mistakes that make people think differently of me, I'm so surprised I have a boyfriend and I'm even more surprised I have friends. I always mess people about, I've lost good friends this way and it kills me, I don't want sympathy because I know I bring it on myself, but holding back tears when thinking about the past is hard. I've been so selfish so I'm trying to apologize for everything I've done wrong, hopefully it will make people despise me that little bit less.

It's a matter of life and death

A lot of things scare us.. Whether it's a fear of flying, or being scared of spiders which varies from person to person, but there will always be one thing that terrifies us all, the thought of death. No one wants to face death, or can't even bare to think about it, like me, I will break down if I think about losing someone. In a way, death is a way of life, it's natural.. What goes on after you die? Do you just float around for eternity? Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? I guess instead of asking these questions we should just embrace the life we have before it dissapears. I was inspired to write about this because of the fact that I recently had a family member having a major operation and it just made me think, what if it didn't go well? What would I do then? ..

I'm looking at my life at the moment, and I'm changing. I'm trying to keep everyone close instead of pushing out the people that I dont find particularly close to me anymore. I love all the people in my life, I have some amazing friends, great family and a perfect boyfriend, why would I want anything else?

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

Eurgh.. Exams -.-

I'm getting myself worked up again over retakes and new exams, but I guess it's just preparing for the future stress really. But I'm gonna keep my chin up and be confident because I cannot be bothered with stress, upset and anger anymore, it isn't doing me any good, it is literally causing me pain. I've also decided that I'm gonna try and keep as many friends as I can, because I shouldn't be a prick to anyone like I usually am, I wanna be seen as 'nice' or 'lovely' not as a 'bitch' or 'two-faced'. I literally get SO annoyed at the smallest things, I have such a short temper and it's really annoying, like when people are just a bit arsey with me I flip out. Somebody once told me that in an argument "I will always win because I mention everything, never leave a stone unturned and even go into personal things" this made me feel bad for ages, because I hated to face the truth :/ I argue all the time and I realise it's wrong whilst arguing but I refuse to stop. I hate me. So I'm changing.

Be my mirror, my sword and shield.

Yes.. I feel bad for what I did. But it's in the past now? Our friends are happy for us so surely we shouldn't really care if people are against it, we love eachother and I couldn't care less for what other people think now, I've given up with that. We could get through anything, I know we could and even my amazing friends are telling me not to worry :) One of my friends said "I shouldn't feel bad because they have never seen me so happy." this is so true and I couldn't stop smiling when I thought about it. I love you, it definately isn't gonna change any time too either.

He is one of my favourite things

Right so my STUPID laptop decided to delete everything I'd written for my blog so Ill try again..

Today was another great day with you, the film was hilarious and the pizza was yummy <3 even though I was eating pizza unattractively and burping, how beautiful does that sound? ;) I feel like I can be myself around you which is great, I enjoy everything we do, even going down every aisle in morrisons and skipping through town late at night in high winds ;) Today was definately one of my favourite things.

Everything about you is perfect, you make me excited, shy, ecstatic, amazing and I get all tingly inside. You're definately my world, I know you are, even after such a short time although people think that isn't true, it really is. Some people believe that teenagers can't be in love, but they can? We may not be adults yet but, we make adult deicisions dont we?

Like we have to pick what college to go to, what sixth form to go to, getting a job ect. This is making people more and more stressed, I think people should just relax and embrace life. Life is whizzing past us like a train.. 'unstoppable' ;) To those of you who don't understand I apologize. But on a serious note, we're just letting our life pass by, so many things have changed over the past year like relationships, family, school and it has made me realise what I'm doing with my life but I guess after this past year I've gained something amazing which i've had all along, it just took me this long to realise.

And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while.

Today. Was. Amazing.

There is no words to decribe this boy, I cant even put my feelings into words, hes amazing, hes caring, hes gentle, hes talented and he is mine!
I didn't know I could feel this way, he's just irrisistable in every way. Every day I try and work out why I have him but every time I can't figure it out, we can act ourselves around eachother, we're supportive, loving and we can make eachother laugh :) I have put my true heart, body and soul into this boy just because he means that much. His talent is amazing, I just lay there listen to him playing piano and I'm lost, I hate the fact that he doesn't think he's phenomenal when he really REALLY is. After such a short period of time, my life has improved, sounds stupid but it is true, just the thought of him can put a smile on my face and a "Morning Beautiful" text can keep me ecstatic for hours.

I'm currently sitting here in his awesome superman shirt and it still smells of him.. How lush <3

you can count on me like 1, 2, 3

So this is my new beginning..

A new positive me, that doesn't care about being judged, and couldn't care less for people who just wanna start trouble. I have amazing friends, and a perfect boy, so why should I be sad? It's time for me to appreciate what I have, beacause "it's not about having what you want, it's wanting what you've got" and tbh, I now have everything I need. I just want my friends to know that I love them so very much, they mean so much to me and I'm always here for them no matter what. I also want my bear to know that I love him so very much, and ill always be here, my love for you is so great, I never want to let it go :)

if you ever forget how much you really mean to me, every day, I will remind you.

I'm able to say, you're my world. Every moment with you is ecstasy and I'm filled with a mixture of butterflies, love and happiness beacause I finally have you all to myself, I can't keep my eyes off your gorgeous face and getting lost in your eyes is possibly the greatest adventure. I can just lay with you and all of a sudden nothing else in the world matters but us, you have made my life so much better, I look forward to waking up, I look forward to the day because it's closer to seeing you. You make me feel like everything is unreal, a dream, and you make me feel so special by complimenting me now and then and telling me you love me :) I talk to you until the early hours of the morning just because I love speaking to you, I try and spend every moment with you when we see eachother because you mean so much. Even though it hasn't been long at all you mean everything.. 29.10.11

All I'm gonna say is I love you eternally.

I get by with a little help from my friends

Well this poem won't be as good as yours, but I just wan't to let you know what a great person you are :D

She's sweet and she's sour,
She'll keep you laughing for hours and hours,
She's a natural beauty,
Like a sparkling gem stone,
A true inspiration,
To people unknown

She keeps you happy,
with her wild ways,
She's gone through a lot,
and seen better days,

But she keeps her head held high,
and keeps on going,
I think shes an inspiration to me,
without her knowing

She would be the kind of girl you want to be yours,
the kind of girl you keep gripped in ya claws,
If theres a fight for her,
then it's worth the war

Maybe you'll think about me again in the future,
and then you'll be glad,
thinking back on those memories,
and the times we had <3

Stay positive Lauren chuck :) xx

This love.

TODAY THEN!

School was shit.

But then I spent time with someone, someone who I love dearly even if others say it's impossible, well.. nothing is impossible. Spending time with you means so much to me, to be alone and get lost in eachothers eyes, having time in your company even means a lot. You send sweet shivers down my spine and make me all dazed, I still can't believe you like me, I'm like WTF D: Because, you are great and I'm not, DONT YOU DARE DENY IT. It's weird, you can make me feel like I'm the only girl on this Earth that matters even make me smile through tears. I find it funny how we always used to help eachother with relationship problems that didn't work out in the end and now we've got a thing, we're so in love.. How does that work out? And now to be honest I couldn't care less what people who have a problem with me have to say, because I've given up with them completely. All that matters to me is you, my dear friend :) and all my close friends obviously :)

I love you so very much my Darling :) xxx

Yeah, you, got that something, I think you'll understand.

I'm writing this on the off-chance you'll read this, I apologize in advance for my 'mish-mash' of emotions bloggers.

I had to give up another to keep you, but I don't mind, because when I think about it.. It was for the best. It wouldn't of been the same ever again, I would of been scared to break your heart again and you would of been more cautious.

Well.. I moved on and I am quite glad I did because he's perfect, he's kind, funny, gorgeous, amazing. I love his personality, the way he makes little cute noises, I adore his slight accent, his smile is to die for and he makes me feel loved. It's stupid that he doesn't like the way he is because he's just great, he hates his body, I love it, he hates his smile, I love it, he doesn't like himself, I love him. I've been longing for this feeling, to lift me up from sadness and make me whole again, and I just got it. When I fall for someone and they say something cute, some people get goosebumps, some get a tingly feeling, basically I've got the retarded one, my legs go like jelly then go numb, so if I'm standing up, I'm screwed. I got that feeling last night and it's my bodies way of reassuring me I've fallen, it sounds stupid and pathetic but I don't care, because it's me so why should I? Me and him have decided we are gonna be positive because to be honest, our lives haven't been great, so we just thought "Fuck it, lets be happy". The funny thing is we were seeing other people when friends and then shit happened and made us sad again, but now we're close, we're happy. It's weird how our friendship developed into this.. But I find it amazing.

Purely, CARNAGE!

Well bloggers, I have had a pretty eventful week.. 2 birthdays this week of two dear friends of mine, I enjoyed spending time with them. And the main thing, yesterdays party.. It was very very fun but I mean, I was drunk.. Slightly. Staggering around the party, hugging everyone, chatting, dancing, ect. The time went pretty fast but I still loved every minute of it. Then came the sleepover. What carnage. We sobered up slowly into the early hours of the morning, except for one guy, he was screwed ;) It's time like this when I thank god im alive, to be around all these amazing people. I shared some time with a person who has been a great friend for a while, he has comforted me through some pretty tough times and you know I can't thank him enough :)

HAPPY 16TH ZOE HENRY!

Dear ZOE HENRYY!!!!!

It is the celebration of your birth 16 years ago today, I hope you have a grand old day now good chap and get all the presents you wanted :)

Zoe, you my dear, are an amazing friend, you help everyone with their problems, you're just lovely and adorable, and I know I could never stay mad at you :) You deserve everything you want for your birthday as this is your day for everyone to help you out a bit. Thankyou so much Zoe for all your help with everything, you give the best advice and always steer me in the right direction, we always have our chats about life and these 2 photography days with you have been great :) I cant thankyou enough for when you came to meet me when I was in tears, and you even brought your cup of tea with you :') Babes, you truely are Legend! And I LOVE YOU!

Have a great day my darling :) Happy 16th birthday you big girl, you ;) <3 xxxxxxx

I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello.

I've been writing quite a lot of depressing blogs recently about love so I'm now going to write a blog about what I love <3

I'm actually in love with The Beatles, I'm a huge fan and if I could travel to any time, it would definately be the swinging 60's, I always consider myself at a bit of a hippie, i'm into peace, love and all that jazz. I also feel that Beatles songs have meaning, even if they're really really crazy, I still love them.

I look at music then, and I look at music now.. How can it go from an all time high to this? When you listen to the top 40 nowadays all it is, is stupid rapping with words and sentences that don't even make sense. I mean I like most music but some of it is quite simply pants.

Crazy little thing called love.

Why do I break so many hearts? Crush them in my hand like I don't care? Because I really do..
I guess it's my 'doing something before thinking it through' attitude. Love is a peculiar thing, you can build it up for days, months, years and within a second it can all dissapear, it can happen to the best of us.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

So basically, today I spent the day with one of my closest friends and it was AWESOME!

It had to be the 'perfect autumn day'.. There was a cold bite in the air, the air was fresh and the sun was beaming warm rays. I originally set my alarm in the morning for 7:30 but I somehow managed to get up at 7:55 then phoned my good friend Zoe. We met up and started our journey, the scene was picture perfect, the sun was rising and the ground was covered in morning dew. We started off at south hill, moving onto starbucks, then onto millpond and back to Zoe's. Our finished products we're pretty awesome, I was quite impressed and our day basically rocked.

We had a good old chin wag, ate McDonalds, had a sunday roast, some cheesecake then rocked out to The Beatles. Perfect.

Off to Virginia Water tomorrow. Lushh..

Nobody said it was easy.. It's such a shame for us to part.

Once again my life has hit another confusing stage, when I'm unaware of what I want.

After talking to you again, I'm just back again. Seeing you didn't really help either.. We both admitted it was weird as we didn't know what to do around eachother. Oh well.. As you said. Only time will tell, I'm just hoping in time, everything will get better, like everyone has told me for ages :/ Even though things have only got worse.

And the love kickstarts again..

You talked to me. I guess that's a start.. Even though our conversation just cut me deeper and deeper, I hurt you in ways I can't describe, I can tell you I regret it a million times, but there is no way in hell it'll make a difference. I can't say sorry enough for everything, but it'll make no difference. I could cry until I couldn't cry anymore but still.. No difference. I just feel like pouring my heart out but I stop myself, I couldn't hold back the tears and I broke down. It shattered me into tiny pieces.

You said some hurtful things, I did some hurtful things. But it's all over now yes?

You have no idea how much I kick myself over that, my whole world came crashing down, I got angry, I punched my wall repeatedly and then it turned to sadness and I cried until my tears ran dry.

Trying to build myself back up and start a fresh new start didn't work out as planned, I'm back to square one. Holding myself back to re-creating past times, is so difficult, everything in my room is just you. I can't believe what you said about my love message on your window :/ I couldn't bare it. I just couldn't. All the times we spent together, rushed to my head like a tidal wave.

I miss you. But you're probably right. You're better off without me.

The only thing I can say is, pathetic.

OH MY GOD?!

WHY DO YOU LIE SO MUCH?! It angers me so much.. Seriously. I actually can't stand you.

Are you trying to make your life seem better and worse at the same time for sympathy? You don't know what anything real is like. You don't have anxiety, you're not an abused child, you're definately not depressed.. You're just an ungrateful, pathetic liar. Don't try and act all nice to my face and then bitch about me behind my back, it's stupid. You think putting names in your msn will make it look like you have friends? Doubt it. You only have 2 friends and your own boyfriend doesn't even like you anymore, I guess he's sick of your shit too. I find it funny that you suck up to me and bitch about 1 of your 2 friends. You try and tell me all these bullshit stories about how someone used to hit you, you said you had bruises.. If you really did, how comes I didn't see them? If you really have depression and you 'cut yourself' why are there no scars? You have no idea what it's like to be hit by your parents and if you did, you wouldn't wanna spread it around to everyone.

Grow up! Seriously.. You aren't making your life seem better or getting ANY sympathy by lying. Why dont you get your own life instead of picking bits out of other peoples and combining them to make yours?

OH YEAH! And one last thing I find it HILARIOUS when you make up ex boyfriends and new friends (Y)

Fake, fake, fake.

Hm, I was thinking to myself, the media really does make women feel ugly doesn't it? I mean, you see all these beautiful models, with their skin tight clothes and tiny bodies when really the camera doesn't see that. They are airbrushed and edited until they are fake, I was looking through pictures of models and thinking to myself, god I wish I looked like them, generally making myself upset over something stupid. I think it's unfair to most women that they try and correct themselves to be perfect because let's be honest no one is, I don't like people who are fake.

You see all these young girls at school looking like they've just come out of the fruit bowl with their bright orange cheeks and they heavily made up eyes. I have realised that I'm slowly starting to use less make-up because I prefer a more natural look. Now, Im not gonna lie, I do wear make-up A LOT of the time but I don't go to that extent! I think girls that cake on their foundation are just making themselves look worse, and their skin underneath is horrid! Girls around me at school ect. Are growing up far too fast, getting drunk every weekend, getting piercings and tattoo's here and there.

I think I'm just gonna sit back and give my body a rest for now.

-Alexandraa ;) xx

It's all about the here and now

There comes times in everyone's lives when they just think why?

Why am I doing this? Why did I do that? Why am I still here? It's these questions that break us down, make us emotional and feel worthless. We need to stop asking "Why?" and just get on with it! Yeah we can all sit around and feel depressed, but what's the point, live life while you can because I don't think you realise how lucky you are. I felt like this earlier today whilst pouring my heart out to a friend down the phone, I was telling him about things bad in my life and I just burst into tears, I couldn't help it but then I realised if I was always like that, which I once was, I wouldn't lead a very good life. Things may seem bad now but just think, if you're my age especially, you have your whole life ahead of you, new experiences, things to see, stuff to do, people to meet. You may think you can't find love now but who cares? It'll come. You may think you have a lot of stuff on your mind now but who cares? You'll have more, it's a thing we deal with. So maybe we should just, concentrate on the here and now, put on some happy tunes and be positive :)

-Alexandraa ;) xx

These are what bestfriends look like..

This post is about Miss Becky Hughes,

Dear my best friend and you my dear, are definately the best one I've had. You are always there for me in my time of need and you know I am always there for you, you give some great advice and you always look out for me. Trust me Becky if anybody tries to hurt you again, I'll tear them limb from limb. We have had some of the best memories ever, and cracked up until we can't laugh anymore.. Those are the moments I cherish the most. We haven't been best friends for a long time but trust me I'm so glad we became bestfriends, we never used to talk that much in year 7, 8 or 9 but fortunately we sat on the same table as Kieran in DT so we could take the piss out of him ;) Our friendship grew and we shared all our secrets, yes we've both had problems in our life but we've shared them with eachother. We share things like our plans for the future of going to Ibiza together and going clubbing.. Generally being rebels, things like that make me smile knowing that I have a friend for life. Yeah, we've also had ours up's and down's but doesn't everyone? And the good thing is we are always still there for eachother in the end.

I love you Becky Hughes, Thanks for everything :) xx

Be your teenage dream.

You know what? I had another one of those moments whilst taking some cough medicine, when I thought "A blog must be written!" So here I am..

I'm not afraid to grow up, I guess I just don't want to, it's so much fun going out with your friends, parties always around the corner, falling in love too many times to count. Being a teenager, in my eyes, is like being free, nothing compared to "the big world of work" or anything like that. You see when you are a teenager, you prepare to be an adult via work experience or whatever which all seems very thrilling but when you get there, maybe the thrill no longer exists?

The sort of person I am, is that, I understand things.. But sometimes I dont want to understand them, because of harsh reality, although soon enough it comes back around to slap me in the face and wake me up. Oh well reality, embrace me, because I guess I can't live in wonderland for my whole life can I? Well I'm gonna try my very best to until I have to stop ;)

-Alexandra.

Do you know a cool kid called Hannah?

Well the only person that really reads my blog a lot is Hannah so..

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HANNAH WYLAM! WIFEY FOR LIFEY! <3!!!!!

All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Yeah, I've written a blog today, and I only wrote it a little while ago but I suddenly feel MAJORLY loved up! <3

Love is such a wonderful feeling, you could say, everyone loves to be loved :) It's the only thing which can brighten your day to it's fullest.. Family love, friend love.. True love.

Love messages, poems, compliments, tiny little things which reduces you to a little mushy puddle. Just hearing 'You're beautiful' or 'I love you' can make your heart race, the feeling when you see that person you love when you can't help but smile and want to run up to them and hold them forever. Every kiss sends an electric tingle through your lips and every touch fills you with ecstasy, the feeling of getting lost in someones eyes like there is a whole new world and the old one no longer matters. People often ask me, would you rather have no money and have friends or be rich and no have friends? I ALWAYS choose to have friends, because friends and love is all I need, no amount of money can make me as happy and friends, family and love makes me. Believe in love at first sight, teenagers can be in love and all you need is love.

So children the moral of the story is, love will find you, whether it's now or later. And when it finds it's way to you, you'll never want it to stop.

-Alexandraaaa ;) xx

Little message

Currently I am watching My Sister's Keeper it is such a sad film, I'm pretty sure I'm clinically depressed D: I'm looking on eBay muhaha <3 love it.

I also have a horrid cold and cough which is peeing me off to the core, ah well! POSITIVITY IS KEY! so.. I shall be positive :D

-Alexandraaaaaa ;) xx

Bedtime blogs

So there I was laying in bed.. And I decided to write yet another blog.. Rebel eh? Here it goes..

My confidence has been building up quite a bit lately, I changed a lot when I came into year 10, I decided to be more crazy, out there, not really caring what other people thought. It has taken me so long to gain my confidence again, I dont know why bullying effected me so much, I was helpless, my world crumbled around me after that and I went into one of the darkest times of my life but fortunately it soon dissapeared and tbh now I'm as nutty as a fruitcake ;) I stood up infront of my P.E class with 3 of my friends, no idea what to do, and made up an aerobics dance routine.. With my own groovy adjustments obviously ;)

I really love music, it's a passion. I love singing, it's an ambition. But I dont dare sing to anyone because I'm so nervous and I dont have confidence in that region. Oh well.. All in good time I guess.

I really do love my brother :) We had a miniture rave/ dance fest in his room to little lies earlier and even though it was a tiny thing, I loved it. I cherish time with my brother, all the laughs we shared today aswell at the silly little creations we used to make. And now I'm introducing new people in my life, who support me when my brother is gone again.

I have also been writing love poems for quite a while as it is a small passion of mine ;)

This slot is for Miss Zoe Henry, you are just a bit of a legend!
Babes, all I can do is thank you :) you are ALWAYS there for me, even when I'm making bad decisions.. I mean you came to meet me when I was in tears over something minor and for that I love you forever. I'm always here for you darling, all the times we have shared together mean so much to me and I hope there is loads more to come. I have discovered that from pushing a bad friend out that got us to be friends, we have become closer and that has been one of the best decisions ever. Thankyou for everything babes. I LOVE YOU ZOE HENRY!



OH and you're extremely gorgeous ;)

Teenage dreams in a teenage circus, running around like a clown on purpose.

I have now decided, I love being a teenager really :) Rocking out to music, hanging with friends, doing whatever the hell you want, and even though you have exams it's just basically preparing you for whats ahead. I love everything at the moment, I'm in that mood :) Being positive is really helping me, I try and not think about the bad things and I just talk to friends or listen to music.. I'm currently on webcam to Zoe Henry and she can see me jamming ;) I'm listening to The Kinks actually :D I'm a hippie at heart really, love the beatles and 60's bands.. Can't get enough of them. Even though I'm completely loving teenage life I know deep down I gotta prepare for other things.

I mean like.. What I'm gonna take for A-level, what uni I wanna go to, what I wanna do for a living. I think far ahead too much so tbh, i'm just gonna concentrate on the here and now at the moment and take it in small bits.


-Alexandraa banana ;) xx

again with the ramblings

So far I have been bogged down with revision, work and more work, it really does suck.. But for some reason I haven't been so low. I've tried to be positive, I lost him, I missed him, I'm over it. I've also had some family problems which I'm hoping comes out for the best :/

These things changing so fast is making me cherish those in my life still, my brother has come down from Scotland for a week and I've never been so happy to see him. I've decided I dont care what people think of me anymore because there is people that love me and there is people that don't, and if you don't like the way I am then screw you :) I will wear what I like, if I wanna wear dungarees then hell i'll wear them, if I wanna wear ridiculous make-up then i'll do that.. Finally I've decided to not care whether I get judged anymore, if you dont like my blogs, my personality, how I look, my music taste, how I dress then stuff you, cos I couldn't care less ;)

BUT on a happy note it was my nieces first brithday on Friday and I went to her birthday party yesterday.. She's such a cutie :) This is her at only a few months old :)



- Alexandrararara ;) xx

It's been a while blogger my friend.

Yeah so I've been feeling kinda different lately, my life is moving on so quickly one day I'm just coming up to year 7 'big school' next day I'm in year 11 considering sixth forms and university. Whats going on there.. Where does it go.

I need to do something different with my life, grab it by the balls and live. Try new things, have new experiences, yes my life may be going through a rather rough patch at the moment but I need to stay positive through this, this is how I've noticed how much I need my friends and how much music can really help me through tough times. I've discovered by that pushing old bad friends out the way, i've come closer to new, better, good friends.. yes I'm talking about you Miss Henry & Miss Wylam, you truely are amazing and I never wanna lose you as friends :) <3

I've been helping others in time of need at the moment which really helps me forget about my own troubles, lets hope things will look up from here.. I just feel like saying 'Fuck it, I'll live life how I want to, not how I'm told to' I want to be able to sing as loud as I want in public without being judged, to dance like a maniac and make people join me, make retarded sounds without being looked down on and just live my life how I've always wanted..

Thankyou everyone for being there for me <3 I love you all so much..

-Alexandraararaaa ;) xx

Busy busy busy

Literally every day of this summer holidays I have been out.. It's given me NO time to do work but I dont mind :) I've usually been at the lovely Zoe Henry's house bigging it up, sleeping over, watching her mum get drunk or having a photoshoot done. I've also been out and about to Hannah's party, organising Zoe's party, going places, i'm soon going to Zoe's casual random party, Lisa's party and Tru nightclub with ma frieennd :D Soo! Life has been pretty hectic at the moment although it HAS taken my mind off my brother which is good :) but I've loved every second and I wouldn't change anything for the world. I love my friends. I love my brother. I love my life.

-Alexandrararara loves youuu ;) xxx

Yes two posts in one day.. Adventurous ;)

So I felt like writing a post about Andy again.

I saw him yesterday to add and I must tell you I missed him more than anything, I walked into through the back door whilst he was playing drums and he just dropped everything and came over to me and gave me a massive hug. I really do love him. :D

I'm seeing Becky today aswell :)

Life is fabulous.

Oh and to add i'm OBSESSED with The Beatles ;)

-Alexandra loves you lots ;) xx

So my time in Prague

Basically I'm gonna tell you a long list of what I did and what I saw in bulletpoints. Enjoy.

• Went to synagogues in the Jewish quarter of Prague
• Went on a dinner river cruise where I got perved on by two Russian students
• Went to the new town
• Went to Prague zoo
• Saw a Beatles show at a Black Light Theatre
  
• Got attacked by wasps
• Saw the astronomical clock
  
• Saw the Hebrew clock .. You may be getting the hint theres a lot of clock seeing ;)
• Went to Prague castle
• Went to petrin hill
• Went on a fenicular railway
• Tryed these new foods : Grilled salmon, ostrich steak, goulash, spinach (exciting eh?)
• Drank lots of alcohol
• Walked fricking miles

I had fun though, boring post but I really couldn't be bothered.

- A tired Alexandrawrr ;) xx

Another blog about what I love

I love being individual <3
I love wearing what I want <3
I love jewellry <3
I love spending time with friends <3
I love my bestfriends <3
I love being annoying <3
I love to laugh <3
I love funny things <3
I love romantic things <3
I love music <3
I love singing <3
I love raving <3
I love dancing stupidly<3
I love to be fun <3
I love flights <3
I love flowers <3
I love plants <3
I love unusual things <3
I love the superman logo <3
I love batman films <3
I love trying new things <3
I love bright colours <3
I love blue <3
I love beaches <3
I love holidays <3
I love summer <3
I love winter <3
I love food <3
I love unhealthy things <3
I love mojitos <3
I love my big brother & sister <3
I love my niece <3
I love mexican food <3
I love photography <3
I love shoes <3
I love clothes <3
I love shopping <3
I love art <3
I love drawing <3
I love acting like a little kid <3
I love monkeys <3
I love animals <3
I love my rabbit Thumper <3
I love memories <3
I love those people who make your day <3
I love showers <3
I love thunderstorms <3
I love rain <3
I love smelling good <3
I love my camera <3
I love my stuff <3
I love my family <3
I love my bestfriend <3
and most of all I love my boyfriend <3 xxx

So far..

Oh my god, the breakfast at this hotel is AMAZING. You can have anything, and there is a random lady just cooking omlettes in the middle of the buffet, man I love her, her omlettes are gorgeous.

Also, today I walked around for literally the WHOLE day. We went to the jewish quarters and the synagogues and I got some great photos so it's all cool :)

-Alexandraawr ;) xx

The city of untouched beauty

So.. Prague, an amazing place, full of beautiful sights to see and fabulous food to eat.

Starting off, 5am off to Heathrow airport, excited as anything and to add I hadnt slept all night.. Waiting in anticipation for the time to come when we board our BA plane, we had food on the 2 hour flight but literally the roll we had was about a mouthful. 2 Hours later we finally we got to Prague, we collected our luggage, man the urge to sit on the conveyer belt was immense. The heat hit us as we got outside and we got into our taxi, when arriving at our hotel we marvelled at the inside of it, it looked AMAZING. When we got to our room I rushed into to find our room was more awesome then I expected, it has stairs in it and a balcony, I truely ADORE it. Our balcony over looks Prague and it's beautiful <3

On the day of arriving we visited the town and got a KFC (it's SO much tastier over here!) then returned to our hotel cos I was falling asleep on my mum in the restaurant. I missed on going back out to town again with my parents and went to sleep for a while :) On the second day we wondered around for a bit and went to Charles Bridge, I bought some beautiful jewellery and I took plenty of photo's. We also went to this cool underground restaurant, now i'm chilling in my room. Life is good.

I miss my friends and Andy though :( xxxxx

- A happy Alexandrawwrrr ;) xx

I love my life too much to give a crap anymore

I REALLY love life at the moment..

Isn't it just the bees knees? The creme da'la creme? The cream of the crop? Okay that was weird but ANYWAY!

Getting back to my point, I love life, everythings great. I'm going to Prague tomorrow, I have great friends, great bestfriend & boyfriend, i'm ignoring a twat in my life it's fab. The only thing i'm not so happy about is having to leave my friends, not seeing my boyfriend for 3 weeks and the fact that my brothers leaving soon (N) BUT I need to start looking on the bright side of life.. And also on another point i've become addicted to sims 2 on my PSP, it's amazing <3

I love you all my fellow bloggers so I wish you a merry christmas, a happy new year, a fabulous birthday and a happy holidays.

-Alexandrawwrr. Peace guys ;) xx

Summer's here

I'm really not good with this whole remembering to write a blog often thing.
Right so, basically, It's now the sunny summer holidays.. 6 weeks off to kick back and relax, almost.
These past 4 days of the holidays have been GREAT, I've been out with my friends everyday I love them so much, they are so kind, funny, unique and just amazing <3

The plans for this summer holidays:

• Go to Prague (Yay!) I've also found out it's 30 czech koruna (currency in czech republic) to the pound, that's just crazy.
• Go to parties :)
• TRY and get a tan
• Spend time with my friendlings
• Spend quality time with my bestfriend and boyfriend (after both our holidays, man I miss him already :/)
  
• Take millions of photo's
  
• Go to Tru with the bestie ;)
• Read Of mice and men, and complete english work (Ugh!)

I think this summer holiday's is gonna be pretty lush, apart from the fact that I'm going into year 11 and I cba for exams ¬_¬

- Alexandraawrrr loves you ;) <3 xx

The lowdown on the hoedown

Ugh, ill Alex once again..

I hate being like this, I cant even swallow :/

Anyway, on a different subject, me and andy have been going out for half a year now ;) <3

So.. Work experience, the MOST tiring week of my life, thank god I wasn't there on Monday. So Tuesday I was with the babies, the cutest section by far but also the most boring, they do not do anything, the whole day is preparing beds, getting them to sleep and making milk.. From this room my 2 favourites were two little boys called Charlie and Harry. ;) Wednesday I was with the 1 - 2 year olds, these were a lot of fun plus the people who worked in there, definately my favourites. My favourite children from this room, once again two little boys and two little girls, Josh, Dominic, Jemima and Racheal. Thursday the 2 - 3 's, a pretty relaxed day, children actually paid interest in games and being with you unlike my last group, my favourite child, Max, man he was so cute. Friday, possibly the worst day, they were pretty much independant and I was pretty much bored for the first half of the day, the second half involved 20 rounds of 'Hide and Seek' , about 10 rounds of 'What's the time Mr. Wolf' and a round of sleeping lions (picked by me) ;)

Overall, a pretty tiring week..

A recently recieved some very upsetting news which kinda didn't help with the week but ah well, life goes on..

- An exhausted Alexandraa ;) xx

A long time coming

Now kids, I haven't written a blog in a while so here it goes..

It was my birthday on Wednesday, I have such amazing friends they made me have a great day despite me having two mock exams. I got some lovely cards and presents and I wish they could all know I couldnt live without them.

Yesterday was a special day too, I took some of my friends out for a meal at Frankie & Bennies, I was a bit gutted that I couldn't invite more people tbh, I had a lovely time though and then I had a fantastic time over my awesomely prettyful ginger friends house :)

And now today, I went shopping with Mother Hen, and she bought me LOADS of new clothes and I bought myself the cutest ever dress from topshop :)

God, almost 2 weeks till I go to Poland and then I'm going on holiday with my parents to a country of which they have not decided yet..

All of this lovely stuff comes with a price though, I have NEVER had so many arguements with my parents :/

- An extremely spoilt Alexandraaa ;) xx

I hate these times.

I'm having one of those days where I just want to run away and dissapear..

My ever interesting life so far

I have my exams week soon, how exciting and how annoying..

I feel like I'm gonna fail, like most teenagers I guess. Well when I say most I rule out those few people that are always confident they will get an A* not mentioning any names.. *cough* Bethany *cough* it's those stuck up people that I hate.

I took a trip to the University of Reading on Friday in a hope to be inspired for what course I want to get a degree in, the choice was too hard and the things they said made me not even have the will to go anymore.. On a happy note, I got loads of freebies and I made slime ;)

Parties are curious things, they make me hyper even when I haven't drunk anything. They make me go that little bit more hyper and happy than anyone else, for example, last night I was running around in the rain with a towel over me, flapping the towel, like wings, pretending to be a bat. The party started off kinda boring, watching the world cup which may I add, I LOATHE football and it got much better when we started doing shit, I also raved until my neck hurt, now unfortunately I am in severe pain. Oh well we shall see what goodies tonights party brings.

- A partied out Alexandra ;) xx

P.S. Hannah if you're reading this, thankyou ;) x

those ones you can count on

I love all my friends, they arent bitches, they arent nerdy (well they are kinda ;) ) they arent hated. Basically they are all cool kiddo's..

I respect every single one of my friends for always being there for me, and being able to chat with them for hours and hours about anything. To show my love for all my friends I made a collage on an A3 sheet of paper of pictures of me and various other friends, I love it and I always smile everytime I look at it. And yes Hannah, if you are reading this, I love you ;)

Thankyou friends, you are all truely my best friends :)

Thankyou Andy for being the most amazing boyfriend EVER! :)

-Alexandeerraawwrr ;) xx

music always has a place in my heart

I officially love musicals, songs with cute lyrics and rave songs ;)

- A musical Alexandraa ;) xx

not much of a blog

I am truely amazed someone actually reads my blog. Thankyou Hannah you lovely girl you ;)

I'm currently singing and eating junk food.. not good. I love my lovely, amazing, adorable, gorgeous boyfriend, and cannot wait until he can spend a long time with me once again ;)

- Alexandrraa loves you ;) xx

Windsurfing weekend..

This weekend I have been to see my lovely boyfriend go windsurfing, we stayed in a tent for 2 nights, one of which I was freezing my butt off and didn't get a wink of sleep, but on the upside, I sunbathed for a while and spent some quality time with Mummy Robinson.

It's funny you know, I never though I'd see my boyfriend in a suit that skin tight, but I did, and I laughed ;)

- From a very tired Alexandraawr ;) xx

A rambling on post

The bad aspects of my life,

I always look on my life as boring and the 'same old routine' day in day out, I need more thrill in my life, to go out and do something i've never done before. Yeah, I have a beautiful niece, great friends and a lovely boyfriend but I want that little bit extra all the time, I always try to make people happy. I have recently been trying to get this boy who is depressed to help his problem, believe it or not, it's over a girl, which is a silly reason to give yourself mental health issues over.

I always consider myself fat or ugly, I dont know what it is about me, I just hate myself for everything I do. I blame myself for everything that happens, whether it be friends or family, I often blame myself for when my sister used to rage at my dad..

That's what hurt me the most in my life, the way my sister and dad had huge arguements ALL the time, I used to get it, I was only young. Having to deal with the fear that when my sister walked out the house or ran away, she may never come back. Waiting around for a teenage drunk to sway her way up the stairs and into your bedroom to occupy the spare bed covered in her sweet wrappers and coke cans. Dealing with the sound of your mum sobbing every night because she's had enough, my parents often walking out the house, my brother frantically trying to calm everyone down, especially me. I confided in my brother when I was sad because of the carnage downstairs, he would hug me and tell me it'll all be over soon, my family are still left with memories of the bad tempered teenager, swinging her fists in every direction, and maybe more extreme. She would flip at the click of your fingers, over the smallest things, you had to tread on eggshells to keep her happy, and so my family dealt with it until she moved out..

Now thats off my chest i'm feeling a bit better. :)

another one of those love posts

Some people may not believe in love at first sight but I now do because i've experienced it, you may be getting sick of me talking about my new love life, but I dont care because the boy in my life means more to me than anything else. You may think, yeah but we havent been together long, but it doesnt matter cos I know i'm gonna always love this boy no matter what, and I hope he loves me too..

I'm constantly thinking about him, I write him poems and essays to express my love for him, sounds stupid and annoying but its just to show him how much I care. I adore everything from his smile, to his silly little ways of making me laugh, we act silly around eachother and we are not afraid to share secrets or say anything disgusting or embarrasing to eachother. I personally find him gorgeous if i'm honest with you bloggers, im pretty sure im not the only one but if I am, who gives a fuck cos hes my boyfriend and I love him to bits..

- An in love Alexanderrawrr ;) xx

Life is cool

I must say, this week, i've been quite the social butterfly.. Today I went out with my buddies :) we sat on a field then unfortunately got caught in the rain, but its always fun with those guys.

This weekend I'm looking forward to going to my wonderful boyfriends windsurfing event <3 I love him so much xx

- Alexandraa ;) xx

The beach.

I had a wonderful day at Weston-Super-Mare on the beach with my mum, dad, sister and my niece marie :) The day was filled with sun, ice-cream, food and sand :)

I do love the beach apart from the part when my back got kinda burnt, ah well, life goes on

- Alexandraa ;) xx

I love my friends tbh

Yesterday, I went out for the day with my lovely friends, pretty boring apart from the sun, my bestfriends and my boyfriend :)

My bestfriend and I had this lush kebab then went out again to meet up with a few of our other friends, they were a bit more fun, no offence but they were. APART from the boyfriend once again.. We were crazy enough to decide to go in the freezing cold outdoor pool, after getting nearly everyone to sit down in it we played around and then the cold set in.. :L it was fucking FREEZING. Me and my friend shivered all the way back home, to greet a towel hanging on her door, we got changed, got warm, and watched some telly.

This is the life :)

- Alexandeeerrraa ;) xx

A new day

Today I am going to meet up with my friends, this probably isnt exciting to read on my blog but ah well..

I love my friends, they are truely what makes me, me!

- Alexandraa ;) xx

life is pretty sweet

So todays big news, went to history revision this morning 4 hours of boring shit..

Then, the best part of the day, seeing Mr. Robinson, everytime I see him, everything feels perfect, I'm unaware of my surroundings, all my mind and eyes are focused on is him.. I hold him close in my arms and all of my pain and worries seem to dissapear, his soft lips caress mine and I'm whole again :)

Me and him are so silly together, I feel like I can be myself with him and thats what I love the most :)

Dear god, I do love seeing my boyfriend :) 5 months and i'm already set for life ;)

- A loved up Alexandraa ;) xx

One of those moments, you know?

I'm at one of those points in my day, where I get a lump in my throat and my eyes go all fuzzy..

Due to me being stupid and crying over nothing, I guess i'm just feeling lonely. I'm gonna go to bed and think my life over..

Goodnight bloggers. I hope you have a better night than i've had.

A little about me...

I love..

• PHOTOGRAPHY!
• SINGING!
  
• Bright colours
• Anything art related
  
• Food
  
• Clothes
• Shoes
• Converse
  
• Music
• Singers such as Dizzee Rascal ;)
  
• Movies
  
• Cooking
• Monkeys
• Phone calls
  
• Long chats about life
  
• My photo collage :)
• Zebra print
• Leopard print
  
• Patterns
  
• Marilyn Monroe and various other celebrities
  
• Friends
• Family
• And finally I love that one special guy, who can brighten my day no matter what, Andrew Robinson :)

Now for the things that get to me..

• Liars
• People who boast
• People who think they have the weight of the world on their shoulders
  
• Justin Bieber
• Man whores
• Boring people
• People who lie about depression
• Self-centered people

Basically most negative society piss me off, but most people I know are lovely and I respect them for that ;)

- A rather moany Alexandraa ;) xx

you know those days

I'm talking about those days when everything is pretty awesome, you are surrounded by people you love all day and it just cheers you up.. Even though you have the crappest thing to do like maths revision ¬_¬ sigh..

Oh well, today has been pretty epic with some of my closest friends.

I'm also currently watching Mitchell Davis on youtube..

- from an indeed happy Alexandraa ;) xx

Shopping

So today I went shopping with my mother, she bought me a lot of shizzle, and these little bodice things, she also struck me with a few presents, an abercrombie & fitch top, A superdry top and a new eletric guitar :)

We also today saw an old woman, ugly as hell, so my dad made a noise at her, not actually aiming it at her though, and she swore at him LMFAO. So he got a megaphone and made the noise again as we went past her in the car and she repeatedly stuck her fingers up at my dad. Ah it was so funny, you truely cannot replace my family ;)

- An extremely happy Alexandraaa :D xx

Talent

I saw my lovely boyfriend today, I really need to start appreciating his drumming talent.. He's so good on drums and he's only been playing for a little while. I'm not being biased, I seriously wish I was as talented as him.

It's amazing how stomach pain can get you down at the best of times, ah well, i'm too strong to let it slow me down ;) maha.

- From an in love Alexandrawrrr ;) xx

Andy is a cool kid.

I am sitting with the most amazing person ever :) <3 <3

Eurovision..

Ah the joys of Eurovision, watching over 3 hours of crappy international singers. Once again United Kingdom's entry. shit. Once again bottom of the chart. Germany won this year with a song that says and I quote 'I even painted my nails for you, I did it the other day' My dad is insisting she was good and we have been arguing over it all night.. Well.. He does like Kate Nash, atleast he says he does just to annoy me.

Well i've spent all night watching eurovision and checking up on celebrity tweets on twitter.. They were surprisingly talking about eurovision. Nick Frost's tweets = Legend

- Alexandraa ;) xx

Love in my life.

Okay.. my boyfriend is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet, he stays with me through shit, and knows what im like but still loves me. Ah he's so perfect..

You may be thinking, how cheesey or I honestly dont care, but hes my life. We met on facebook funnily enough, I met his friend through my friend, sounds confusing but yeah.. I instantly fell for this boy, we spoke for about 3 days before we admitted we liked eachother and actually met up after knowing eachother for such a short period..

We were both nervous and it started getting awkward but thankfully I had my friend with me who is now going out with the friend that he invited too. We started watching a film and he sat next to me, was pretty cute, I did the most obvious flirt of mine, I repeatedly poked him in the side :L till lauren complained.. Fuck her :L:L Then we were both left on the sofa while lauren and dom were flirting on another chair, he decided to hug me and lay on me ect, I played with his hair, I had major butterflies.. Then there was a moment when me and lauren went into another room and then as soon as we went back in, I sat on the sofa and lauren was dragged out of the room, I was so happy at this point cos I had a gut feeling he would 'pop the question' and he did.. I've got to say bloggers.. I've never been so happy in my whole life.

- A very loved up Alexandra ;) xx

You know I always like a party..

Okay so.. last night. Jesus christ, it was one of the most eventful parties I have ever been to, right everyone starts off the night pretty dandy, mingle, drink ect. Then we decide to get pizza so we casually order £100 worth of pizza, some little twats decided it would be fun to throw rocks over the fence at us so it hit one of my friends, natalie, and let me tell you now. it bled, like hell. So now its my turn for the attention at the party, I decide to drink just that little bit more than I can handle and I throw up, and start crying.. Im such a dick :L

But on a happy note, I was fine after throwing up the 10th time, natalie was okay and has told the police and everyone else is dandy..

- A regretful Alexandra ;) xx

New glasses

Today.. I got some new working glasses :/ I look like a div in them, thats the only reason im angry.. But other than that, im pretty god damn good.

- Alexandraa ;) xx

short post.

hm.. so.. My life atm is very very very confusing but nevermind. I love life still and I still love singing ;) maha.

A pretty dandy Alexandraa ;) xx

A new day. A new blog.

Today I did my english presentation, wasn't too bad, got a few laughs. My whole day had been pretty great until my friends little brother, the retard, repeatedly hit my legs with his bike.. It hurt. Like Hell.

Anyway! moving on.. I most definately enjoy singing, more than anything else well except photography of course ;).. I infact ADORE singing, it's a shame i'm not very confident. The other thing I secretly love is cooking.. I am currently watching Daily Cooks Challenge, sounds sad but its amazing <3

A new post. muahhaa.

So on a happy note.. thankyou very much Lauren for introducing me to this site. Now she can see when im angry ect. But at the moment im pretty much happy..

I'm kinda worried cos recently i've been getting headaches after I dramatically knocked myself out. I indeed failed. But on an excited note im getting my new RED work glasses ;)

Alexandraaaa ;) xx

so what, stop ruining my confidence

So.. A blog, basically about someone who has given me the bad side of my personality. This person is meant to be one of my 'best friends' the one you can always depend on and that always gives you confidence. Well not exactly in this case, she ALWAYS makes little insults about what I do, okay.. I actually adore singing, and every time she hears me sing, she insults how I sound so bad, even though when she sings it sounds like a cat being strangled.

Another thing she enjoys doing is copying me, everything I do, she does. She always has to be that little bit better than me at everything, it angers me so much.

Now the final thing that really gets to me is her and her boyfriend, one minute they're all kissy kissy, makes you wanna upchuck. The next minute shes crying cos hes apparently done something wrong, shes so obsessed with him, he makes up excuses not to see her atleast one day of the week. They have no faith in eachother and if im honest with you, thats not much of a relationship is it? She talks about him and about him only, she somehow gets us into a conversation about him.. then she goes blabbing about all the stuff shes done with him. She should'nt be proud..

And now that's off my chest, im gonna end this post.