To Miss Lauren Victoria Buckland:

Dude, you're amazing okay? Don't let anyone else tell you different. Me and you have become rather close over basically this past year and a half, which to be honest, I never expected. You're..

• Hilarious - You my friend have the ability to put me in fits of laughter.
• Supportive - I can be in any situation but you'll always back me up.
• Caring - You're so lovely to me and it's great to have you as a friend.
• An Inspiration - You inspire me with your confidence and the fact that you've been through so much shit but you keep fighting on.
• Beautiful - You may not think it but you're just naturally pretty, you have a simple yet amazing style which always brings out the best in how you look.
• Creative - We love the same things like making random crap like at the moment, you're making origami? Just because you felt like it. We also make our little songs, damn we're good ;)
• A great friend overall - You can randomly say I'm a great friend ect which really makes me smile, you're always there for me and you help me when I'm sad or angry ect.

I love you Lauren Buckland, and I think some people just don't deserve your friendship and I feel sorry for them <3

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

I cant believe it has already been 1 month.. Looking back on it, I don't regret a thing, I may of had some of the worst things happen but over all im still the happiest I've been because you're all I want. The way you make me feel is like no other, I've never felt like this before, I'm just confortable with being with you and I dont have to try and be somebody else to please you because you don't mind how unusual I am. You're always there for me and you know I'm always there for you, thanks for the great time darling. I love you <3

So raise your glass

You know what? I can't be bothered anymore with things that don't matter, if you want to just bitch about me or snap at me all the time all I have to say is "FUCK OFF" because I'm gonna concentrate on what makes me happy and most importantly what makes other people happy. You may say "I don't care about other peoples feelings" but I obviously do, because the amount of my friends that I try and help is far more than some others in the world. So I think people should think because they go assuming things :)

Go to the ends of the earth for you, to make you feel my love

You make my skin tingle with a touch, become breathless with one word and melt with a singular kiss. I can't believe you're mine and I wouldn't change it for the world, now I have you don't even think that I'm ever letting you go :) I want to spend every waking moment with you and I've never been like this in such a short amount of time, you've turned my life around and know that this will last. I'm a person with quite a short temper generally but when I'm around you, I forget everything, I never get angry or sad, it's just you on my mind, always. I would do anything for you without hesitation, trust me, you have my heart for life.

I love you Lucas Harris, don't forget that.

I've got the magic in me

Hm, rather weird weekend.. Yet fun :D

So, I had Beckys party Friday, twas insane, I loved it. I danced. I laughed. I tried to cheer people up. And I fell in love even deeper. After a night of alcohol fuelled partying we retired to some dominoes pizza and a well deserved sleep, even though I thought Becky was dead, as she wasnt moving. Saturday I saw my boy, I do love him very much :) and then Sunday I went to see HARRY FREAKING POTTER! Aaah, I love it <3 !! I'm still trying to change, I'm attempting to be nicer to friends and gain a new relationship with old ones. Oh well.. We'll see what happens.

Huff, thanks.

ARGH! You anger me SO much, you didn't have to say that to make me angry did you? No.

I was gonna leave you alone for now to let things calm down but no, you tried to make me hate you, I don't hate you I knew you needed a break from me so I left it. All I did was mess about with my friends, I didn't mean to upset you and yeah I can understand you may still have feelings but that wasn't appropriate?

I'm sorry for whatever I did now? Now just don't bother trying to get back at me again please, it's the only thing I ask.

Trying to make it work, but damn these times are hard

Why do I just hurt people like it doesn't matter? It really does, and I try and stop myself but I always end up the same.. Getting shouted at for being a dick to someone or crying because I can't reserve what I've done. I really do care about everyone, but I make silly mistakes that make people think differently of me, I'm so surprised I have a boyfriend and I'm even more surprised I have friends. I always mess people about, I've lost good friends this way and it kills me, I don't want sympathy because I know I bring it on myself, but holding back tears when thinking about the past is hard. I've been so selfish so I'm trying to apologize for everything I've done wrong, hopefully it will make people despise me that little bit less.

It's a matter of life and death

A lot of things scare us.. Whether it's a fear of flying, or being scared of spiders which varies from person to person, but there will always be one thing that terrifies us all, the thought of death. No one wants to face death, or can't even bare to think about it, like me, I will break down if I think about losing someone. In a way, death is a way of life, it's natural.. What goes on after you die? Do you just float around for eternity? Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? I guess instead of asking these questions we should just embrace the life we have before it dissapears. I was inspired to write about this because of the fact that I recently had a family member having a major operation and it just made me think, what if it didn't go well? What would I do then? ..

I'm looking at my life at the moment, and I'm changing. I'm trying to keep everyone close instead of pushing out the people that I dont find particularly close to me anymore. I love all the people in my life, I have some amazing friends, great family and a perfect boyfriend, why would I want anything else?

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

Eurgh.. Exams -.-

I'm getting myself worked up again over retakes and new exams, but I guess it's just preparing for the future stress really. But I'm gonna keep my chin up and be confident because I cannot be bothered with stress, upset and anger anymore, it isn't doing me any good, it is literally causing me pain. I've also decided that I'm gonna try and keep as many friends as I can, because I shouldn't be a prick to anyone like I usually am, I wanna be seen as 'nice' or 'lovely' not as a 'bitch' or 'two-faced'. I literally get SO annoyed at the smallest things, I have such a short temper and it's really annoying, like when people are just a bit arsey with me I flip out. Somebody once told me that in an argument "I will always win because I mention everything, never leave a stone unturned and even go into personal things" this made me feel bad for ages, because I hated to face the truth :/ I argue all the time and I realise it's wrong whilst arguing but I refuse to stop. I hate me. So I'm changing.

Be my mirror, my sword and shield.

Yes.. I feel bad for what I did. But it's in the past now? Our friends are happy for us so surely we shouldn't really care if people are against it, we love eachother and I couldn't care less for what other people think now, I've given up with that. We could get through anything, I know we could and even my amazing friends are telling me not to worry :) One of my friends said "I shouldn't feel bad because they have never seen me so happy." this is so true and I couldn't stop smiling when I thought about it. I love you, it definately isn't gonna change any time too either.

He is one of my favourite things

Right so my STUPID laptop decided to delete everything I'd written for my blog so Ill try again..

Today was another great day with you, the film was hilarious and the pizza was yummy <3 even though I was eating pizza unattractively and burping, how beautiful does that sound? ;) I feel like I can be myself around you which is great, I enjoy everything we do, even going down every aisle in morrisons and skipping through town late at night in high winds ;) Today was definately one of my favourite things.

Everything about you is perfect, you make me excited, shy, ecstatic, amazing and I get all tingly inside. You're definately my world, I know you are, even after such a short time although people think that isn't true, it really is. Some people believe that teenagers can't be in love, but they can? We may not be adults yet but, we make adult deicisions dont we?

Like we have to pick what college to go to, what sixth form to go to, getting a job ect. This is making people more and more stressed, I think people should just relax and embrace life. Life is whizzing past us like a train.. 'unstoppable' ;) To those of you who don't understand I apologize. But on a serious note, we're just letting our life pass by, so many things have changed over the past year like relationships, family, school and it has made me realise what I'm doing with my life but I guess after this past year I've gained something amazing which i've had all along, it just took me this long to realise.

And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while.

Today. Was. Amazing.

There is no words to decribe this boy, I cant even put my feelings into words, hes amazing, hes caring, hes gentle, hes talented and he is mine!
I didn't know I could feel this way, he's just irrisistable in every way. Every day I try and work out why I have him but every time I can't figure it out, we can act ourselves around eachother, we're supportive, loving and we can make eachother laugh :) I have put my true heart, body and soul into this boy just because he means that much. His talent is amazing, I just lay there listen to him playing piano and I'm lost, I hate the fact that he doesn't think he's phenomenal when he really REALLY is. After such a short period of time, my life has improved, sounds stupid but it is true, just the thought of him can put a smile on my face and a "Morning Beautiful" text can keep me ecstatic for hours.

I'm currently sitting here in his awesome superman shirt and it still smells of him.. How lush <3

you can count on me like 1, 2, 3

So this is my new beginning..

A new positive me, that doesn't care about being judged, and couldn't care less for people who just wanna start trouble. I have amazing friends, and a perfect boy, so why should I be sad? It's time for me to appreciate what I have, beacause "it's not about having what you want, it's wanting what you've got" and tbh, I now have everything I need. I just want my friends to know that I love them so very much, they mean so much to me and I'm always here for them no matter what. I also want my bear to know that I love him so very much, and ill always be here, my love for you is so great, I never want to let it go :)

if you ever forget how much you really mean to me, every day, I will remind you.

I'm able to say, you're my world. Every moment with you is ecstasy and I'm filled with a mixture of butterflies, love and happiness beacause I finally have you all to myself, I can't keep my eyes off your gorgeous face and getting lost in your eyes is possibly the greatest adventure. I can just lay with you and all of a sudden nothing else in the world matters but us, you have made my life so much better, I look forward to waking up, I look forward to the day because it's closer to seeing you. You make me feel like everything is unreal, a dream, and you make me feel so special by complimenting me now and then and telling me you love me :) I talk to you until the early hours of the morning just because I love speaking to you, I try and spend every moment with you when we see eachother because you mean so much. Even though it hasn't been long at all you mean everything.. 29.10.11

All I'm gonna say is I love you eternally.

I get by with a little help from my friends

Well this poem won't be as good as yours, but I just wan't to let you know what a great person you are :D

She's sweet and she's sour,
She'll keep you laughing for hours and hours,
She's a natural beauty,
Like a sparkling gem stone,
A true inspiration,
To people unknown

She keeps you happy,
with her wild ways,
She's gone through a lot,
and seen better days,

But she keeps her head held high,
and keeps on going,
I think shes an inspiration to me,
without her knowing

She would be the kind of girl you want to be yours,
the kind of girl you keep gripped in ya claws,
If theres a fight for her,
then it's worth the war

Maybe you'll think about me again in the future,
and then you'll be glad,
thinking back on those memories,
and the times we had <3

Stay positive Lauren chuck :) xx

This love.

TODAY THEN!

School was shit.

But then I spent time with someone, someone who I love dearly even if others say it's impossible, well.. nothing is impossible. Spending time with you means so much to me, to be alone and get lost in eachothers eyes, having time in your company even means a lot. You send sweet shivers down my spine and make me all dazed, I still can't believe you like me, I'm like WTF D: Because, you are great and I'm not, DONT YOU DARE DENY IT. It's weird, you can make me feel like I'm the only girl on this Earth that matters even make me smile through tears. I find it funny how we always used to help eachother with relationship problems that didn't work out in the end and now we've got a thing, we're so in love.. How does that work out? And now to be honest I couldn't care less what people who have a problem with me have to say, because I've given up with them completely. All that matters to me is you, my dear friend :) and all my close friends obviously :)

I love you so very much my Darling :) xxx